I love you so much it hurts. Time is going by far too quickly and your babyhood is disappearing by the day. I am sorry I haven't had as much time to write these letters to you as I would like. I do love telling you stories while you nurse in the quiet of the night though. You are such a sweet, sweet tiny human. At four and a half months you love to roll over, grab your toes and watch everything. Oscar, I hope you know how much you and your Daddy and sisters adore you. Even though it feels like smothering it really is deep love. You have blessed our family immensely! Thank you for being my little dude. You rock my world Ozzy!
My sweet sweet Oscar boy,
I waited a looooong 9 months for you. The second you joined our family I felt complete. You are meant to be our son. It was hard pregnancy but worth every second. This pregnancy brought the longest time sick, so hot, tired, sore, cranky, daily heartburn and you were incredibly LOW. I didn't think I would ever make it to the end. Your due date was August 1st, 2014. I think Gretchen knew weeks before that date that I wouldn't be able to stay pregnant that long or I was going to lose my mind. The entire pregnancy you were measuring ahead of your due date. When I went in for my 39 week appointment and had lost a few pounds and you hadn't grown at all that week we felt comfortable letting you make your debut early. I was scheduled for an elective induction on the morning of July 25th. It had been a busy night at the hospital that night so they didn't have a room ready for us until about 10:00 a.m. I was started on Pitocin and I.V. fluids around 11:00. The beginning labor process was perfectly smooth. I labored through contractions while Dad and I watched The Price is Right. After a few hours I sent Dad to get himself some lunch and had them set up my epidural while he was out of the room. Gretchen came in shortly after and broke my water. The epidural took the edge off and Dad and I watched funny YouTube videos for an hour or so. Around 4:30 I started having some sharp pains in my side. The epidural was losing power and we weren't sure what was causing the pain. Looking back the nurse thinks you had your hand up by your face and was pushing on sore stretched muscles. I pushed the epidural button for another dose. No change. I pushed the button again and still no change. At this point I was feeling a lot of pressure and Gretchen checked me. I was 8.5 cm. Within an hour I was fully dilated and ready to push. With no pain medication. The epidural had given up at that point. Your cute little head was coming out but coming out sideways. It was intense. Luckily it only took three contractions and you were out. Sideways but perfect! You were immediately placed on my chest and only cried for about ten seconds. After a while they took you to clean you up and get your stats. You weighed in at 7 lbs. 14 oz. (Dad's exact guess) and measured 20 inches long with blue eyes and a whole head of dark brown hair. Meanwhile I needed a few stitches. Gretchen gave me a shot of a local anesthetic. Just like the epidural it was a dud. I suffered through the stitches. Then Gretchen noticed another tear that she thinks was caused by the CNA inserting or removing the catheter incorrectly. I suffered through those too while cursing the CNA under my breath. After delivering my placenta I started to hemorrhage. I was laid back and the nurses took turns pushing on my belly to pass the clots. I have never been so scared. It was hands down the most pain I have ever endured. It is funny how quick I have been to forget the pain though and just love the intense way you entered our lives. The stitches held and the bleeding stopped. After two hours we were wheeled to recovery (with my placenta in a bucket for encapsulation) and greeted by good friends who came bearing spicy chicken nuggets and a Frosty. I think I spent most of the night in shock after the traumatizing delivery. But once the sun came up the next day it was all forgotten and we started our lives together. Your sisters came the next morning to watch you scream through your first bath. They all fought over who got to hold you first and longest. They will take good care of you Oscar. And your Daddy and I will do our very best to protect you and teach you all we know. Welcome to this crazy crazy world little man. I love you fiercely!
This week has been exhausting to say the least. Baby boy is giving me a glimpse of what I imagine raising boys must be like because he is full of energy and never stops moving. On top of that we just finished round 3 of antibiotics for Stella's double ear infections and it looks as though the fluid wont be clearing up on it's own. We visit the ENT tomorrow to schedule her for tubes. But despite all that my kids keep me laughing. Here are a few things they have said and/or I have said to them in the past week that I never expected to hear/say as a mom.
1. Stella: "I'm not a kid anymore, I can wear whatever I want!"
2. Nora: "Mom, today Dad pulled out his pocket knife and cut of all my skins (cuticles)" Aaron is guilty of this as well as picking boogers from Stella's nose with tweezers.
3. Me: "Mabel, stop pinching my boobs!"
4. Stella: "I'm a dult (and adult) Mom, I do what I want!"
5. Me: "Stop choking your sister!"
6. Me: "Who peed all over the floor?"
7. Me (to Mabel): "Get your hand out of every ones butt cracks girl!"
8. Me (to Mabel on multiple occasions this week): "Stop licking the bottoms of shoes!"