Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dung Bombs

*Update* I just re-read my post and wanted to let y'all know that I really just get slightly annoyed at this things, not to the point of crazed woman needing anger management classes like it may seem.

I have been thinking for a short while now that I need a regular peeves post. A post full of the daily things that I see/hear that make my skin crawl. The only problem is that every time I think about creating this irritating post all I can think about is Peeves; the poltergeist from Harry Potter and when he throws dung bombs at the Death Eaters. Go Peeves!
So here is the first of what will probably become many peeves posts. Let's see if I can get through typing this without adding in any more Harry Potter references or giving up typing all together because I am now trying to list in my head all of the magic spells I know. And let's not pretend we all dont wish we were high flyin' on some Nimbus 2000's right now.
Back to business...

Dear Aaron,
You just won the #1 Top Peeve Award for your farts. They make me want to throw up in my mouth. I love you to the stars stinky fajita!

Dear Sales Person Who Just Answered The Phone In The Middle Of Ringing Up My Purchase,
For goodness sake put the caller on hold for a second so I don't have to pretend I went to mime school.
My Stink Eye

Dear Person I'm Not Going To Name To Save You From Utter Humiliation Even Though You Probably Don't Even Read My Blog,
Everyone has hard things in their life. Your live happens to be peaches 'n' cream as far as the issue I am stressing over. I know you have challenges too and I am sorry. But you have no idea what I am going through so please don't pretend that you do. I am allowed to be sad too sometimes and I don't need to hear your lies. Get off my back or get the H out of my house.
Yours Truly,
My Angry Eyes.

Dear Zions Bank Owners/Co-Owners/Schedule Makers/And Such,
I really doubt your families like paying $10,000 deductibles and never knowing from week to week when you will be going to/from work. So fix it. For the sake of your wives, your children and your employees.
A Wife Wishing Her Hubby Didn't Work For You

Dear Person Staring At My Crying Baby/Toddler,
You were a kid once too. And I would bet money you were more obnoxious than my girls.
Yours Truly,
A Mom Who Means Business

That's all for now folks.

1 comment:

Jace said...

You are awesome! I hope I never see a peeve post about me on here!